don't know where to start

Wow! I just realized that it's already been 14 months and 6 days (to be exact, hehe) since the last time I wrote in this blog. Because of that realization, I honestly do not know where to start or what to say. A lot of my friends at work, especially Ate Maia of Maia's Scribbles, have been reminding me once in a while to update my blog already but I just didn't feel like writing yet, hehe; or maybe I've just come to accept the fact that whether I update my blog or not, they still know what's going on with my life, hahaha. Now that I feel like updating this blog, I can't put anything into writing because there are sooooo many things that are going through my mind at this time and I don't know which ones to entertain, hahaha. Oh well, I guess I need to park my pen for now, just for now, until I get to sort things out so I could compose my thoughts more clearly... ^_^

10 Things I Miss About Him

It's actually been 10 days since that day when we've decided to lead our separate lives, hoping that it was for the best. But, it's just now that everything is sinking in. I have tried to be strong and optimistic for the past days thinking that everything will be fine... That someday our roads will meet again... That our love for each other will not change even if we're away from each other... Maybe I felt that way because we promised to still remain as friends no matter what. However, today, I felt something different. I no longer feel confident nor optimistic about it. Instead, I now experience the fear and pain of losing him. Only God knows what is instored for the two of us. As much as I try to slowly let go and move on, it's just soooo difficult. I may not be ready yet. I don't really know. All I know for now is that I miss him soooo much... That I wanna be with him... I wanna believe that this is just a bad dream and that everything will be back to normal when I wake up. It's just too sad though because I know that this isn't just a dream. It's the reality. So I have to slowly pick up the pieces of my life and try to make it whole again...

As I try to do that, I can't help but reminisce about the things I miss about him. Maybe because those are part of the pieces that I have to put together. I really miss everything about him but just decided to enumerate the 10 things that stand out. And, here it goes...

I miss those times...

10. When he goes to the office after my shift so he could fetch me and bring me home safely.

9. When he gives me a single long-stemmed red rose after my shift. It wasn't always but he did it a few times; and, it usually happened during those days when I feel stressed out at work. He never fails to surprise me or brighten up my day.

8. When he goes to the office in the morning after his shift just to bring me some food since he knows that I rarely eat breakfast.

7. When he visits me at home, we sometimes sit down on the grass under a starry and peaceful sky and just talk like there's no tomorrow, hehe.

6. When he sings the song that he dedicated to me.

5. When he sacrifices a few minutes (or hours) of his sleep just to chat with me or be with me.

4. When he comforts me by hugging me tight everytime I feel down.

3. When he pampers me like a baby and treats like a princess depending on the situation, hehe.

2. When we go to church together, he sits beside me and just hold my hand as we intently hear mass.

1. When he looks me in the eye and tells me how much he loves me with all warmth and sincerity.

Hahay... I can only reminisce for now... I don't even know if these things will happen again... Only God knows...

*sigh*

simply difficult

What is it? You might ask...

Well...

When you have to do something even if you don't want to. When you have to be firm with your decision thinking that it would be best for the two of you even if your heart bleeds. When you have to be strong even if you've lost strength to do so. When you have to be whole even if you're still shattered.

That's just simply difficult.

:'(

saturday blues

It is still a work day for me today. However, I don't feel like working at all! I feel kinda lazy and my mind just drifts to doing something else. Like go for a walk, take a swim, watch a movie, read a book, listen to music, or just curl up on my bed and sleep. Hahay... I just feel like doing anything besides work, hehehe. Oh well, I may just be feeling tired because I've been trying to reach our quota for the past few days. Hopefully, this will pass... Well, this feeling should pass soon or else I won't get any work done today, hehehe.

Alright, have to end my rants for now and try to focus on what needs to be done today. Wish me luck, guyz!

What's Your Gift?

I decided to take a quick break from work to answer this BlogThings quiz which was given to me by my good friend -- The Nitpicker. The quiz actually tries to identify one of your strengths as a person. So curious as I am, I decided to take the quiz.

And here is the result:

Your Gift is Sensitivity

You are easily moved, and you have a strong emotional reaction to almost everything. Your sensitivity helps you get a lot out of life. You appreciate every moment more. It's hard for you to divorce yourself from your feelings. You notice every little thing around you. You're the type of person who finds empathy and compassion easy.

What's Your Gift?

I shall say that the result fits me well and my friends could prove this, hehe. ;))