It's actually been 10 days since that day when we've decided to lead our separate lives, hoping that it was for the best. But, it's just now that everything is sinking in. I have tried to be strong and optimistic for the past days thinking that everything will be fine... That someday our roads will meet again... That our love for each other will not change even if we're away from each other... Maybe I felt that way because we promised to still remain as friends no matter what. However, today, I felt something different. I no longer feel confident nor optimistic about it. Instead, I now experience the fear and pain of losing him. Only God knows what is instored for the two of us. As much as I try to slowly let go and move on, it's just soooo difficult. I may not be ready yet. I don't really know. All I know for now is that I miss him soooo much... That I wanna be with him... I wanna believe that this is just a bad dream and that everything will be back to normal when I wake up. It's just too sad though because I know that this isn't just a dream. It's the reality. So I have to slowly pick up the pieces of my life and try to make it whole again...
As I try to do that, I can't help but reminisce about the things I miss about him. Maybe because those are part of the pieces that I have to put together. I really miss everything about him but just decided to enumerate the 10 things that stand out. And, here it goes...
I miss those times...
10. When he goes to the office after my shift so he could fetch me and bring me home safely.
9. When he gives me a single long-stemmed red rose after my shift. It wasn't always but he did it a few times; and, it usually happened during those days when I feel stressed out at work. He never fails to surprise me or brighten up my day.
8. When he goes to the office in the morning after his shift just to bring me some food since he knows that I rarely eat breakfast.
7. When he visits me at home, we sometimes sit down on the grass under a starry and peaceful sky and just talk like there's no tomorrow, hehe.
6. When he sings the song that he dedicated to me.
5. When he sacrifices a few minutes (or hours) of his sleep just to chat with me or be with me.
4. When he comforts me by hugging me tight everytime I feel down.
3. When he pampers me like a baby and treats like a princess depending on the situation, hehe.
2. When we go to church together, he sits beside me and just hold my hand as we intently hear mass.
1. When he looks me in the eye and tells me how much he loves me with all warmth and sincerity.
Hahay... I can only reminisce for now... I don't even know if these things will happen again... Only God knows...