10 Things I Miss About Him

It's actually been 10 days since that day when we've decided to lead our separate lives, hoping that it was for the best. But, it's just now that everything is sinking in. I have tried to be strong and optimistic for the past days thinking that everything will be fine... That someday our roads will meet again... That our love for each other will not change even if we're away from each other... Maybe I felt that way because we promised to still remain as friends no matter what. However, today, I felt something different. I no longer feel confident nor optimistic about it. Instead, I now experience the fear and pain of losing him. Only God knows what is instored for the two of us. As much as I try to slowly let go and move on, it's just soooo difficult. I may not be ready yet. I don't really know. All I know for now is that I miss him soooo much... That I wanna be with him... I wanna believe that this is just a bad dream and that everything will be back to normal when I wake up. It's just too sad though because I know that this isn't just a dream. It's the reality. So I have to slowly pick up the pieces of my life and try to make it whole again...

As I try to do that, I can't help but reminisce about the things I miss about him. Maybe because those are part of the pieces that I have to put together. I really miss everything about him but just decided to enumerate the 10 things that stand out. And, here it goes...

I miss those times...

10. When he goes to the office after my shift so he could fetch me and bring me home safely.

9. When he gives me a single long-stemmed red rose after my shift. It wasn't always but he did it a few times; and, it usually happened during those days when I feel stressed out at work. He never fails to surprise me or brighten up my day.

8. When he goes to the office in the morning after his shift just to bring me some food since he knows that I rarely eat breakfast.

7. When he visits me at home, we sometimes sit down on the grass under a starry and peaceful sky and just talk like there's no tomorrow, hehe.

6. When he sings the song that he dedicated to me.

5. When he sacrifices a few minutes (or hours) of his sleep just to chat with me or be with me.

4. When he comforts me by hugging me tight everytime I feel down.

3. When he pampers me like a baby and treats like a princess depending on the situation, hehe.

2. When we go to church together, he sits beside me and just hold my hand as we intently hear mass.

1. When he looks me in the eye and tells me how much he loves me with all warmth and sincerity.

Hahay... I can only reminisce for now... I don't even know if these things will happen again... Only God knows...

*sigh*

simply difficult

What is it? You might ask...

Well...

When you have to do something even if you don't want to. When you have to be firm with your decision thinking that it would be best for the two of you even if your heart bleeds. When you have to be strong even if you've lost strength to do so. When you have to be whole even if you're still shattered.

That's just simply difficult.

:'(

saturday blues

It is still a work day for me today. However, I don't feel like working at all! I feel kinda lazy and my mind just drifts to doing something else. Like go for a walk, take a swim, watch a movie, read a book, listen to music, or just curl up on my bed and sleep. Hahay... I just feel like doing anything besides work, hehehe. Oh well, I may just be feeling tired because I've been trying to reach our quota for the past few days. Hopefully, this will pass... Well, this feeling should pass soon or else I won't get any work done today, hehehe.

Alright, have to end my rants for now and try to focus on what needs to be done today. Wish me luck, guyz!

What's Your Gift?

I decided to take a quick break from work to answer this BlogThings quiz which was given to me by my good friend -- The Nitpicker. The quiz actually tries to identify one of your strengths as a person. So curious as I am, I decided to take the quiz.

And here is the result:

Your Gift is Sensitivity

You are easily moved, and you have a strong emotional reaction to almost everything. Your sensitivity helps you get a lot out of life. You appreciate every moment more. It's hard for you to divorce yourself from your feelings. You notice every little thing around you. You're the type of person who finds empathy and compassion easy.

What's Your Gift?

I shall say that the result fits me well and my friends could prove this, hehe. ;))

on personal growth

A friend of mine sent me this text message months ago and I've been meaning to share it with you by posting it here in my blog.

Here it goes...

The Laws of Lifetime Personal Growth

Law #1
Always make your future bigger that your past.

Law #2
Always make your contribution bigger than your reward.

Law #3
Always make your performance greater than your applause.

Law #4:
Always make your gratitude greater than your success.

So that's it. I hope you find the message inspiring. ;)

feeling blue

There are just a lot of things that cross my mind right now (or make that for the past few days). I can't put them into words yet because I don't even know where to begin. All I know is that as of this moment I am feeling sad and lonely. I hope and pray that God will guide me through this... That by tomorrow a smile will light upon my face... That everything will be fine again... That my mind will be put at ease... Hopefully... With God's grace...

Oh well, time for me to tuck myself to bed as I still have work tomorrow. Wish me luck that I'll be able to have a good night's rest.

Until then!

the silence of a man and a woman

As I checked my Friendster account, I noticed that one of my friends -- Lileth -- edited her shout out. The quote caught my attention because I somehow found truth into it, hehe. So to put an end to your speculations, here is the quote:

"Funny how...

A man's silence
can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces.

While a woman's silence
can give a man a thousand moments of confusion."

True, isn't it? This may not apply to all but somehow I can relate to this. I even witnessed this happening to some of my friends. When a man suddenly becomes quiet (especially in a middle of an argument) and doesn't talk to us even if we try to fix things, we feel like our heart has been shattered into a million pieces. And when it's the woman's turn to become silent, the man then becomes soooo confused... tries to woo you... and if you won't budge, it's his turn to get angry or irritated. It seems like a cycle, huh? Hehehe. But this case doesn't only happen when you have fights. It also happens during regular occassions or in our every day life. Oh well, I just thought of sharing it. How about you? What do you think?

just a bit of catching up

Oooohhh... I know... I know... It's been a month since I last updated my site. So sorry about that. I've been caught up with a lot of things lately which includes work and family responsibilities. But to give you a quick update, here's what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks (as far as I can remember, hehehe):

• *** Earlier parts of April (around the first two weeks), I've been so busy with work because it was crunch time for our team. We had to double our efforts just to ensure that we get our quota before the month ends.
• 
  
• *** Second, my Aunt and Uncle from Australia arrived around the 17th of April to spend their summer vacation here. Prior to their arrival, my family have been so busy cleaning the house, rearranging things and the list goes on and on and on, hehe. You do know that this usually happens in every Filipino household, right? Especially when relatives from other countries or other places come for a visit, hehe.
• 
  
• *** Third, my Ate and her family also arrived from Davao. They arrived around the 24th. Then, they were off to Camiguin on the 25th along with my parents and other relatives since that's where they wanna spend the summer break. Uh-huh, your heard me right. It's only my parents and relatives. I was left here at home, huhu.
• 
  
• *** Fourth, while all of them are enjoying their stay in Camiguin, I was left home alone. I had to stay behind to work, to watch over the house and to do some chores. For almost a week, I felt like a stay-at-home mom. I even remember that my officemate and friend, Ann, welcomed me into the world of "home-maker-hood," hehe. I was actually scheduled to be with my family on the 30th but changed my plans the last minute due to a lot of factors, huhu.
• 
  
• *** Fifth, I spent time with my honey on his special day. We attended mass together with his mom and dad on the 23rd. Then we had a dinner date at a seafood restaurant as my birthday treat for him. But his birthday celebration didn't stop there. We had another one. This time around it was his Kuya's treat for him. We had a lunch date together with his family in a Filipino restaurant. We all had a great time over good food and wonderful conversation.
• 
  
• *** And lastly, even if I missed out on the Camiguin trip, I still decided to enjoy my leave from work. Yep, I filed for leave so I could be with my family but had to change plans. So sad. And because of that, I decided to take a break from all the stress and have an overnight stay at Basamanggas Resort with my cousin and my honey. It turned out great. We all had fun and we really were able to unwind.

So that's about it... I wasn't really busy, right? Hahaha. Oh well, all I could say is that I may have missed out on the Camiguin trip but I still had my own share of fun times. However, in the next summer vacay, I should be joining them... Hopefully...

21 Things Girls Don't Realize

I came across this post through Friendster's bulletin board. My friend posted this in her account and since I find it interesting, I thought of sharing it here in my blog. So here it goes:

21 Things Girls Don't Realize

You HAVE to read all of them and if you don't you're going to come across with problems in your relationship for the next month!

1) Guys may be flirting around all day; but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2) Guys are more emotional than you think. If they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go and it hurts every second that they try.

3) Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4) A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

5) Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what? ... uh ... nevermind..." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

6) If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

7) A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

8) GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM!!!

9) Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot.

10) If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

11) If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something.

12) When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

13) When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying: "Please come and listen to me."

14) If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often; so when it does, you know something's up.

15) When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

16) Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

17) A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

18) No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

19) NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!!! Just because ONE is RUDE doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.

20) WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

21) Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you. He probably still does. And if he had one wish, it would be you to come back into his life.

Everything said in this bulletin is TRUE.
-Ladies, if u don't repost this within 1 hr then you will lose the guy of your life.

I've actually decided to re-post this not because I'm afraid of chain letters, but because I want to share it with you since I've discovered that there's some truth in them. ^_^ How about you? What do you think?

taking it slow

For the past couple of weeks, I have been really busy with work because our team needs to reach the monthly quota among other things. It's just today that my tasks are a little bit light so I just took this day slowly, hehe, since tomorrow will be another long day. Sigh.

However, I'm feeling excited today. Why? Because there's only about an hour left before I finally log out from work then I'm off to the city with my mamie, nephew and cousin-in-law to unwind... Yipee! I soooo wanted to have this time out and what a better way to spend it than be with my love ones. Right? :D

Concrete Angel

While I was working, my officemate and friend -- Dennis -- gave me a link to a music video. He said that it's a nice song but a sad video. I didn't know what song it was but got intrigued with what he said so I decided to watch it. As I checked the link, I found out that the song was entitled Concrete Angel with Martina McBride as the singer. But still, I wasn't familiar with the song so I watched the video and listened intently to the lyrics. While doing so, it sent shivers down my spine. I felt like crying but no tears came out of my eyes. It was indeed a nice song yet a sad one, too. I haven't expected that such beautiful song could depict the ugliness of child abuse. I love kids so much that it hurts me to see kids either being physically, emotionally or sexually abused by their loved-ones. :'(

The video really touched my soul so I decided to share it with you. Here it goes:



And, if you're not familiar with the song, as well, below is the lyrics for your reference:

She walks to school with a lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back;
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday,
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace;
oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask,
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask;
Bearing the burden of a secret storm,
Sometimes she wishes she was never born;

Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night,
The neighbors hear but they turn out the lights;
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate,
When morning comes it will be too late.

Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel

A statue stands in a shaded place,
An angel girl with an upturned face;
Her name is written on a polished rock,
A broken heart that the world forgot.

Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel

I hope you liked the song and feel free to share your views about it. ;)

What Love Is

I know the topic of this post is a bit late considering that Valentine's Day is already over (about 20 days ago to be exact, hehehe). However, we cannot deny the fact that be it hearts day or not, all of us experience love everyday... one way or another. We feel love from our family, friends, special someone, and even strangers who just show compassion to us. We not only receive love but we also share them to others. So I just thought of making this post and talk about my views on love.

When people are asked how they define L0VE, we get a lot of different answers. That is why we refer to love as being subjective... because our definitions or descriptions are based on our life experiences. Now, if you ask me, I believe that love is more than just the emotions or the attraction that you feel for your partner. Love is also a Decision -- a decision that will give you strength and inspiration to make the relationship work especially when obstacles come your way. But what's best is that when you make such decision, you have to seek for God's grace and guidance then all else will follow.

Having said that, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite descriptions about love (or shall I say, one of the best definitions I've ever encountered). Here it is:

"L0VE is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered,
it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails."

Sounds familiar, right? Well, that definition is taken from the Bible specifically from 1st Corinthians chapter 13 verses 3 to 4. I couldn't add anything to it anymore because it speaks for itself already. All I could say is that this verse serves as one of my inspirations in dealing with my relationship right now. Plus, this definition of love doesn't only limit you to the boy-girl and husband-wife relationships. It is universal. It does not only talk about the love between a couple but also the love of a person for his/her family, friends, relatives and others.

Mah Dahlin Nephew

On the 1st Sunday of March, three beautiful ladies decided to attend the 3 o'clock (in the afternoon) mass at the Divine Mercy Shrine in El Salvador. I went there along with my cousin-in-law (Reachel) and my first cousin (Ate Grace). Since Reachel joined us, we could not just leave behind my handsome nephew. So where the mother goes, the baby follows, hehe... ;))

After we attended the mass, we roamed around the place to bask in its peacefulness and at the same time take pictures. We really don't get tired of taking shots everywhere we go, lol. Of all the shots we got, below is my favorite shot with my nephew -- GM:

Don't we look cute? Maybe we're qualified now to do baby product endorsements, hahaha...

When Was The Last Time You...

About 3 months ago, I saw this meme in one of the blogs that I was reading. I find it cute so I thought of giving it a try myself. I then answered this meme in my other blog. Now, a few months later, I decided to deal with it again in my personal blog to check whether there are changes from the last time I answered it, hehe... So here it goes:


... When was the last time I ...

cried : It was on the last Thursday of February (the 26th to be exact) when my honey told me that he needs some space and give ourselves some time to resolve past issues. This really hurt me a lot that I had to go to the PEA (Parish Eucharistic Adoration) chapel just to find some refuge. But we're very much fine now. Thanks to God. ^_^

played a sport : I wasn't really playing, hehe, but I went swimming with my honey around last week of January just to have some form of recreational activity.

laughed : Just a few hours ago while playing with my ever cute and mischievous one year old nephew, hehe... ;))

hugged someone : About a few minutes ago when my nephew blew me a lot of kisses and looked at me with those adoring, innocent eyes.

kissed someone : Last night. When I bid my honey goodbye after bringing me home safely.

felt depressed : Last week. I wasn't really depressed. I was just in a state of confusion and reflection.

felt elated : Yesterday. Because my office mates just finalized our plan of having an out of town trip this coming Saturday. I feel so happy and excited because I badly need a break from work.

felt overworked : Almost everyday, hahaha. (Nothing has changed, hahaha).

faked sick : For the past months? Nope, I didn't do such a thing. Just like I said before, when I tell people that I'm not feeling well, I really am.

lied : So far, I didn't do any lying. I think, hehe... But there are just some information that I prefer to keep to myself and not elaborate about it when asked.


There you go. I'm finally done. As I try to compare my answers last December, I think the only thing that didn't change was me feeling overworked, hahaha. Oh well, people say that I am a workaholic. So I guess that answer won't be changing in the coming months or forever? I hope not. I'm still trying to teach myself not to be so attached with work and give myself a break. Hopefully, God will guide me through this. :)

How about you? Do you feel like answering some of those questions? Feel free to do so and leme know.

I Missed Out on RP's Concert

... Too bad. tsk tsk tsk... But I had my reasons, hehe. ;))

If I hadn't gone to SM last Saturday (Feb 28), I wouldn't know that "The Big Band Crooner" -- Mr. Richard Poon -- is in town and will be having a concert on that same day at around 7pm. I think it was a fundraising event for two charitable institutions. It was a concert organized by Sen. Migz Zubiri, Gov. Oca Moreno and Dunkin Donuts along with other major sponsors. It's been my wish to see RP sing live because I love the way he sings the ballads and gives out his own rendition of the songs.

However, like I said earlier, I had my reasons for missing out the concert. And what would that be? Aside from the fact that I only knew of it when I got to SM, it was also that same day where I get to spend time with my one and only honey after having some misunderstanding which lasted for more than a week, hehe. I terribly miss him and I soooo wanted to talk to him nah. Kaya my honey comes first before any other celebrity, hehe. Even if I wasn't able to watch RP that night, I still had a great day because my honey and I were able to resolve our problem. And like any other couple, the moment you get to reconcile whatever issues you have, your relationship with each other becomes sweeter and your love for each other grows even more. Charmos!! But well, that's how I felt (or make that we, hehe).

Now, I'm hoping once again that RP will have another concert here. As to when? That I'll have to wait and see, hehe. I just got one wish though... That I'll be able to know his schedule ahead of time so that I could work out my plans and watch it with my honey... :D

the warrior is a child

Today, with a lot of things rushing through my mind, all I could think of was a song from Gary Valenciano entitled The Warrior is a Child. I just feel so drained and so torn right now. I don't know what to do or what to think of. It's just that at this point I could totally relate to the song. No matter how strong or brave you are, there are times that you just wanna seek refuge and find solitude especially if you've been through some pain and hurt. People may see you as someone courageous yet they don't know what you really go through just to face your own personal battles. Only your closest friends or relatives would know. But at times, you don't even want to share it with them because you don't want them to get burdened by it. So there's only one person whom you can rely and that is God. He sees everything that you experience; read what is in your mind; and feel what is in your heart. With Him, you can just surrender everything, be weak for a moment and just find refuge...

For those who are not familiar with the song, here is the lyrics:

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

And they don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

And they don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

And they don't know
that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know
who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

And for those who haven't heard it yet, you can find the video in YouTube.

This song has somewhat inspired me that I always have someone to count on and that I could always seek for solitude every time I feel down...

a glimpse of my new baby

Uh-huh, you heard me right... Not that I'm pregnant or anything though, hehehe. I just wanna consider this site as my new baby.

Actually, at first, I only thought of having a blog that will showcase inspiring or wonderful quotes and messages; thus, I created Walking Down Quotes Lane. However, it dawned on me that it would probably be good if I create a personal site. A place where I could express my thoughts and opinions, share my life experiences, or just simply find a haven where I could just rant and rave (not that I often do that, haha). It's just that writing makes me feel good especially when I want to pour out my soul into it. I don't consider myself a good writer but I just love writing especially when the mood strikes, hehe. So that inspired me to create this site -- Zharie's Haven -- that will simply showcase my world, my life and my journey.

Having said that, I welcome you all into my new site and may this be a start of a wonderful journey with you being a part of it...